Preparing For Elections Gifts

"Ed's simplifying his world before the elections. Only one news station. Only one remote."

"Good boy."

They're Not Just That Into It

"This is the most important election of our lifetime."

'His best qualities are circumventing questions and evading answers.'

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

'If only every year was an election year.'

"Excellent, excellent. A fine blend of truths, half-truths, and blatant falsehoods."

Political convention

"I want to dispel the rumor that this redistricting map was drawn by my toddler on an Etch-A-Sketch. . .I'd never met that toddler before."

Political Candidates' Playbook Signals from the sidelines

An informed voter is a good voter

The President Elect approved by 3 out of 4 talk show hosts!

The Russian Election.

Unfettered Corporate Campaigning.

'Why does my opponent keep lying about me?', 'Because truth is stranger than fiction?'

The perfect choice for president?... Stephen Colbert!

'Son, voting isn't a rational procedure by which one strategically selects an electable candidate who will best serve your interests. Voting is an emotional response to your gut level fears!'

'The only cuts we can all agree with are their cutting remarks!'

"What do you mean blood sucking pest? You're the one who invited me into your life!"

Netanyahu versus Gantz

CONGRESS, 'No, no, you don't HAVE to fool all of the people all of the time - you just need to CONFUSE them!'

Arnold's first day on the job - 'What do you mean...no director!!!...and who is going to tell me what to do?'

Trump Destroying U.S. the Postal Service

Coming up: Bush and Kerry will debate on 'saturday night live'...and whoever gets the most laughs will be the winner.'

'What's the difference? Some people call it privatizing government. Others call it super pacs buying congressmen.'

Why should I take you home instead of your friend? (Republican and Democrat).

'That's correct Shaun. The government is comprised of 5 branches...the executive, legislative, judicial, lobbyist and media.'

Vote: Have your photo ID ready!

Ranked Voting in N.Y.C.

'For five years you can't get a single politician to take any notice of you...and then half a dozen turn up at once!'

America's funniest election gaffes

'Mark my words! Our enemies will test this young guy with a huge international crisis as soon as he's electe! But don't worry, he'll be fine!', 'Come here, Joe -- let me give you a nice fist bump!'

Election 2020

The Republican's Plan One: No Obama!