Getting Elected To Office Gifts

"I rise in opposition to this bill..."

''...And defend the Constitution of the United States.' -- And now, I'd like to pardon the following Illinois politicians....'

They're Not Just That Into It

"This is the most important election of our lifetime."

We Tenatively Oppose War on Strictly Procedural Grounds

'His best qualities are circumventing questions and evading answers.'

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

Vehicles are having their own election. These are the candidates. The ambulance appeals to voters who think health care is most important. Voters focusing on education issues favor the school bus. And those wanting family-friendly policies are backing the minivan. The tractor is an expert on agricultural issues, and the import is a free trade advocate. Those voters concerned about environmental issues like the electric hybrid, and those wanting a strong military support the Jeep. What's t

"Away with the warmonger!"

"Excellent, excellent. A fine blend of truths, half-truths, and blatant falsehoods."

"I want to dispel the rumor that this redistricting map was drawn by my toddler on an Etch-A-Sketch. . .I'd never met that toddler before."

'Thank heavens! For a minute there I thought it was the news!'

To Err Is Human, to Mess up Big-Time Is Democratic

Trump Poutine

I've Always Wanted to Be Oppressed By Someone Who Looks Like Me

Political Candidates' Playbook Signals from the sidelines

The Russian Election.

'Why does my opponent keep lying about me?', 'Because truth is stranger than fiction?'

The President Elect approved by 3 out of 4 talk show hosts!

'We're asking what america can do without to reduce the deficit...no, ma'ma! the Gop and Dems are not options!'

"We've won control of the congress. Our next objective is to win control of the media."

Elections

Unfettered Corporate Campaigning.

"Exactly how undecided would you say you were at this precise moment?"

"Still Undecided Political Blocs"

'With these video-phones, there's just too much documentation on all my promises.'

'My plan for the mid east has approval of both Houses of Congress, Oprah, Larry King, Lettermen and Leno.'

'Son, voting isn't a rational procedure by which one strategically selects an electable candidate who will best serve your interests. Voting is an emotional response to your gut level fears!'

'The only cuts we can all agree with are their cutting remarks!'

Why should I take you home instead of your friend? (Republican and Democrat).

Trump Destroying U.S. the Postal Service

Netanyahu versus Gantz

Coming up: Bush and Kerry will debate on 'saturday night live'...and whoever gets the most laughs will be the winner.'

"What do you mean blood sucking pest? You're the one who invited me into your life!"

Joe Biden