Elected To Public Office Gifts

''...And defend the Constitution of the United States.' -- And now, I'd like to pardon the following Illinois politicians....'

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

They're Not Just That Into It

"This is the most important election of our lifetime."

"Who's got the hammer?"

'His best qualities are circumventing questions and evading answers.'

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

'I clawed my way to the top and then I clawed my way back to the middle.'

'You think I'm crazy; I think you're crazy...finally some common ground!'

The Circular Logic of Fascism

"What was I thinking?!"

"I want to dispel the rumor that this redistricting map was drawn by my toddler on an Etch-A-Sketch. . .I'd never met that toddler before."

'Thank heavens! For a minute there I thought it was the news!'

Trump Poutine

To Err Is Human, to Mess up Big-Time Is Democratic

I've Always Wanted to Be Oppressed By Someone Who Looks Like Me

"Always remember...it takes teamwork to get me that promotion!"

'It's a senior management position. We need someone who can listen politely, and then say no.'

Political Candidates' Playbook Signals from the sidelines

"We'd better watch Cranston. He looks like a whistleblower."

The Russian Election.

Elections

"And finally, I’d like to thank all those people I stepped on and used to get here. I couldn’t have done it without your submissive insecurity and relentless resignation."

'Why does my opponent keep lying about me?', 'Because truth is stranger than fiction?'

Flat tax - equal burden?

'It's historic that the inauguration of a minority is now routine.'

"We've won control of the congress. Our next objective is to win control of the media."

"I can hardly wait...TWO WHOLE weeks without having to deal with mindless e-mails, incessant interruptions, boring meetings...."

'I'm afraid the cuts are beginning to bite!'

Unfettered Corporate Campaigning.

"The boss can see you now."

"It's my intelligence, talent and hard work that have got me to the top."