Elected Representative Gifts

'We're your conscience. We're here to tell you which way to vote on the upcoming bill.'

House leadership 'cry'-teria

''...And defend the Constitution of the United States.' -- And now, I'd like to pardon the following Illinois politicians....'

"This is the most important election of our lifetime."

"That's it lads, 364 days annual leave...what would we have done without our union!"

'Frankly, our dental plan bites.'

BEWARE OF THE DOG!; 'So much for management's pledge to bargain in good faith.'

'You can't fire me! -- This is a right-to-work state!'

"I actually saw ten gay characters on television this week—which almost balanced out the 2,174 straight characters I saw."

A man with Dwarfism is reading Little Women.

'Our union contract keeps us from cutting salaries, but nothing prevents us from charging for parking.'

'Yes,we have equal pay in that we are grossly underpaid, all of us.'

'Enough is enough. We're sick of being overworked and underpaid.'

"Instead of raising the minimum wage, we should lower it to $4.00 an hour and create more jobs. Plus, low wages would encourage car pooling."

Congratulations Strike Over!

When mediation failed, they tried meditation.

"And, if elected, I promise to put more black people in cartoons."

U.S. Manufacturing - Good News & Bad News

"We don't need no stinkin' unions...I saw it on the internet."

"Do you handle employee salary negotiations as well?"

'Therapy in L.A.'

"So you want to give yourselves a pay raise and change term limits so you can continue to ignore voter mandates and introduce ridiculous legislation?"

"Ha! Today we informed the boss about our rights!"

A case of runaway forklift Doctor. Do we offer him any compensation?

Our Cars Are Made By 100% American-Made Robots.

When collective bargaining is outlawed!: 'To work here, you have to wear this metal collar!'

'I solved the union problem. I made everyone management!'

How To Spot A Politician

'I hate it when EVERYONE is a whistle blower.'

"We're striking for minimum levels of service."

"Watch out for Donlan. He came back from Tokyo with a black belt in collective bargaining."

"Smart stuff, Chip, but wise up and dumb it down."

"To show you how committed the company is to ending this strike, we are moving operations to Mexico."