Running For Election Gifts

"What we need is a pre-election election."

'His best qualities are circumventing questions and evading answers.'

Campaign Spending

"Our voters are migrating to labour."

A politician playing with children whilst canvassing

Jumbo Paper Shredder

'Oh, we could reduce the deficit, but it'd just leave stretch marks.'

'Psst, Senator, not that one - that's your HIDDEN agenda!'

Politian 'Blame them'

"I'm running for re-election. How much to make it look like I give a damn?"

They're Not Just That Into It

"This is the most important election of our lifetime."

We Tenatively Oppose War on Strictly Procedural Grounds

Vehicles are having their own election. These are the candidates. The ambulance appeals to voters who think health care is most important. Voters focusing on education issues favor the school bus. And those wanting family-friendly policies are backing the minivan. The tractor is an expert on agricultural issues, and the import is a free trade advocate. Those voters concerned about environmental issues like the electric hybrid, and those wanting a strong military support the Jeep. What's t

"Away with the warmonger!"

Political convention

"I want to dispel the rumor that this redistricting map was drawn by my toddler on an Etch-A-Sketch. . .I'd never met that toddler before."

'Thank heavens! For a minute there I thought it was the news!'

I've Always Wanted to Be Oppressed By Someone Who Looks Like Me

Trump Poutine

To Err Is Human, to Mess up Big-Time Is Democratic

Political Candidates' Playbook Signals from the sidelines

Unfettered Corporate Campaigning.

"Exactly how undecided would you say you were at this precise moment?"

"We've won control of the congress. Our next objective is to win control of the media."

'Why does my opponent keep lying about me?', 'Because truth is stranger than fiction?'

Elections

'We're asking what america can do without to reduce the deficit...no, ma'ma! the Gop and Dems are not options!'

The Russian Election.

"I don't like your application."

"Still Undecided Political Blocs"

'With these video-phones, there's just too much documentation on all my promises.'

'My plan for the mid east has approval of both Houses of Congress, Oprah, Larry King, Lettermen and Leno.'

'The only cuts we can all agree with are their cutting remarks!'

Why should I take you home instead of your friend? (Republican and Democrat).