Election Candidate Gifts

Political Selfie

Shotgun Wedding.

'His best qualities are circumventing questions and evading answers.'

Political convention

Political Candidates' Playbook Signals from the sidelines

'Why does my opponent keep lying about me?', 'Because truth is stranger than fiction?'

"I don't like your application."

Elections

'With these video-phones, there's just too much documentation on all my promises.'

'The only cuts we can all agree with are their cutting remarks!'

'Mark my words! Our enemies will test this young guy with a huge international crisis as soon as he's electe! But don't worry, he'll be fine!', 'Come here, Joe -- let me give you a nice fist bump!'

An American flag being hung by Trump's tie

Palin 2012

With no clear winner, the debate ended in a tie breaker.

Jerry Brown.

'It's the consistently defininative obscure obviation coupled with absolute commitment to incomprehensible policy objectives that I find appealing.

"And, if elected, I promise to put more black people in cartoons."

"Sure, he has artificial intelligence, but it's his artificial empathy that won me over."

Hillary Clinton and American politics.

"After the election everything will be perfect and I will be able to fly."

'Why should I vote for a two-bit lame-brained nobody, when i could vote for a two-bit lamb-brained somebody with 'name recognition'?'

Pollster

'Sure, but think what a crook I'd be without hypocrisy!'

'If elected, I promise to my darndest to keep money in politics.'

"He sounds authentic. That gets my vote."

Political Debate, 'I'd like a word with the debate chairman.'

"We're on track for net zero."

"Hello there...! I'm your hardworking GOP Congressional Representative. I'm running for re-election and I would appreciate your support..."

Run-off

'I like the jib of their cuts.'

Batting practice

'Well, at least he's an honest politician.'

Bureaucratic Position Interview

'Keep a lid on it!'