Contestant Gifts

'Why would I want an ocean-going yacht when I've got a rocking chair in my front porch?'

"George, a photoshop user from London, is that your finalfinalfinalfinal answer?"

"I don't like your application."

'I'll never let my love of fishing come between us.'

"And, if elected, I promise to put more black people in cartoons."

'The employee who guesses closest to the correct number of beans in this jar will be awarded this year's annual pay increase! -Management, ATOZ Accountants

"The average citizen doesn't have a clue - or why would we keep getting re-elected?"

Bureaucratic Position Interview

'Wow! no doubt about it son!...You'll grow up to be President of the United States!'

The Ox Factor

Political Selfie

Drinks cabinet meeting

'With the deficit and spending bills constantly threatening to close it...the sign shows the current status of Congress.'

'Our super PAC will finance candidates who specifically run against super PACs.'

"I'll just mow the lawn then I'll put myself forward to lead the Conservatives."

'We need someone to walk the plants.'

'I'm thinking about running for president. Not this term but as soon as I'm allowed to cross the street by myself.'

"When I grow up, I'm going to be a business owner, or president, or the doctor who discovers the cure for cancer!"

Lawyers Playing Tennis

Thanks to my wife for her unstinting Support

"I rise to take exception to my dear friend from across the aisle, the junior prick from the great state of denial."

Vote for Scnible: 'Of course I'm depressed. All the good campaign promises have already been made!'

"If elected, I'll institute an AMAZING CRASH PROGRAM that in JUST 24 HOURS will trim ugly fat and waste from government and literally turn it into SUPER SERVICES for you the AMERICAN PEOPLE by utilizing a NATURAL MECHANISM so powerful that when unleashed

'Abortion is such an ugly word -- think of it as 'birth annulment.''

Trump visits a therapist in the lead-up to the election.

"I taught him to shake hands, and now he's running for congress!"

'Abortion is such an ugly word -- think of it as 'birth annulment.''

"And now I'll open up the floor to softballs."

'I can get you a good deal on sacrificial lambs...'

'Of course I've been considering your proposal - You're on the short list '.

Never mind the next election...

"The poor guy believes in the existence of honest and unselfish politicians!"

'My ambition is to become minister of finance.'