Election Enthusiast Gifts

"Eenie meenie miney mo..."

"Is 'oblivious' the same as' undecided'?"

Election over.

'Please wait here to be unseated.'

'Dang it! I can't find a voting app.'

"If we didn't have a first past the post system I'd beat you everytime."

"Attack of the political signs!"

Redistricting.

'Please, Ma'am — I'm running out of paper!'

Second thoughts on Obama.

'There wasn't anything you could do -- somebody had to win the election.'

'This race is simply too close to call.'

Wasted votes.

'I see disinterest rates are up again.'

Super PACs.

"What a wonderful concession speech - we should have voted for him after all."

Election slot machine. No matter the outcome, I always lose money.

"The voters sent me a message I didn't approve of."

"The President is closing in the polls, but he still needs hurricanes in several key states."

"Here is the campaign strategy and here are the after-the-fact excuses."

"Hmm...I'm still undecided."

Poling Station

Two uses for ten minutes in America.

Vote: Have your photo ID ready!

"They should make the election best of seven."

"He refused to go outside, so I had to be cruel. I put the election coverage on the TV. Even he can't stomach it."

"I was checking to see how many promises the candidates will break, and my computer couldn't take it and blew up."

Tsunami Warning: Campaign Funding.

'If only every year was an election year.'

"And if elected, I promise to keep making promises."

VOTE, 'Senator! Senator! -- You're going off message again!'

Presidential candidate bandwagon.

"Pay no attention to those anonymous donors behind the curtain! You can trust us!"

'I've gone off organized political parties.'

Don't blame me they got in - I didn't vote!