Election Enthusiasts Gifts

Election

Conservative party calling Dignitas about election.

'Only 25 of me likes the mainstream G.O.P candidates, 25 of me likes the democratic candidates, which leaves 50 of me, that would be open to a third party or independent candidate.'

'...And while everybody's celebrating the big tax cut, we'll sneak in a postage hike!'

'The trouble with electing a man on horseback is that somebody has to clean up after him.'

"Why is it that when somebody asks the Trump folks about their candidate all they can talk about is that horrible Hillary Clinton...?"

'Sorry, Joe -- our only hope is to have Neil Kinnock debate her.'

The joker

Upcoming Campaign Promises

HERMAN CAIN...MY 999 PLAN!

Q: Which campaign is privately funded?

'In the end, the candidate who spends the most money can get the votes to stop government binge spending.'

Scott Walker for President

Nader's Running

"How about we change your name to 'None-of-the-Above' and pick up a lot of uncommitted voters?"

"What are we doing in Congress? We're studying for the mid-terms."

The EU's Alt-Right Problems

"Hoo, boy. . . this ought to be good. . .!"

" ... therefore, the blame clearly lies with you, the voters, for throwing caution to the wind and voting for me."

Trump lobbyist

"The Zoomers and Boomers are out of our reach, so we'll have to count on the Doomers and Gloomers."

"We've been told to keep him in there until the election is down to the final two!"

Department of Political Posturing.

Softened Up

Harcourt's Defeat in 1895 Election

"Just kidding, dear viewers. The non-existent opposition has NOT won the election...."

'One thing we've learned from all this -- the American people voted stupidly.'

'Their ruling's all about Freedom of Speech...which allows us to say, 'We have the right to influence elections''

'That Ross Perot was such an amateur -- He bought votes with his own money!'

Campaign Funding

"What do you mean blood sucking pest? You're the one who invited me into your life!"

The Rev. Wright Brothers

'I wish I came from a nice safe district!'

Election Policies

'...and if you missed my party political broadcast last night, this is how I looked.'