Prehistoric Humor Buff Gifts

"There were hooves in my lunch! I told you I don't like hooves."

"I think those are mine."

Following the Ice Age, came the rarely mentioned, Sloppy Age.

"Gnork invented the wheel, Shnorz invented the hand axe, and my genius paints lines and circles. . . what do you want to do with it? Maybe building something where you can look at cat pictures? Hahaha!"

'I told you it would be useful.'

"If you're tired of stegosaur, go kill something else."

Jurassic Parking Lot

"Frankly, I can't wait until I evolve into a bird..."

"Ooh look Derek. A shooting star. Quick make a wish"

'I can't wait 'til hunting is googling and gathering is calling out for delivery.'

'I've been a nervous rex all day.'

"While you were working on fire, I was working on my satellite. Once we figure out how to launch it into the heavens, other inventions will follow, like phones, GPS, weather predictions. . ."

Ezekiel and his Dog: "Have you been in the valley of dry bones again?"

'I think it's more than a coincidence that I discover fire, and my wife discovers burnt food on the same day.'

Their relationship was doomed to fail. She was frigid, and his arms were too short to rub one out.

"My dad can't talk yet, but he's learned to wave bye-bye."

"I've considered portraiture, but everyone is so ugly."

'I made your favorite for dinner — pterodactyl nuggets!'

Early on-line shopping

Herding lava back to the fire pit.

"Take that mammoth back. It's not 'wooly' enough."

'...And they're giving us sixty million years to get in compliance.'

"Don't bother gathering carbs for me, I'm on the Paleo diet."

"This is nonsense! Dinosaur and prehistoric men have never met!"

A gift to complete the man cave.

'You can't believe a word he says since he invented the subjunctive.'

'The hard part will be writing the tutorial.'

Hedgehog holding sign saying 'the end is nigh' as man invents the wheel.

'Walk upright?. . . But what about banana peels?'

'I'm telling you Dad: Walking upright and using tools is the way of the future...'

"Is it free-range?"

Carbon Dating

"I think I know what your problem is. Not enough PR."

"I gotta flat. Can you get the spear out of the trunk."

"Google Earth must have a defective camera. There's a big red spot above our location."