Pregnancy Protection Enthusiast Gifts

Maternity Fashion: Zika Net

Pregnant lady being greeted by foetus.

No kicking: 12-6 Mon-Sun

'I'm afraid this doubles your bill.'

"Mum's biological clock is ticking away...OOPS!...my mistake. That's indigestion."

"Don't be so dramatic. You tell me you're pregnant every day?"

Baby in womb chooses from multiple choice pregnancy symptoms...

'We're hoping to sell the naming rights.'

"All this stuff? I'm meeting for two now."

Baby on Board

"Wow! According to this if I dig straight down I'll find a delivery suite."

Welcome to the uterus. Please be seated. Your mother will be with you in nine months.

'It's Mrs. O'Hara...the one whose due date was 37 days ago...she's angry.'

"Nine months in here?? I trust I can get out in seven months with good behaviour!"

'This is boring. This uterus could sure do with a fast forward button.'

Maternity Arrivals

"No, dear, the baby didn't take a selfie. It's an ultrasound."

Baby Footballer

"We've completely child-proofed our home."

Beware of teething baby.

"I think he's outgrown the baby gate."

'It's a girl and she's an artist in her gestational period.'

Maternity Ward "Just call me the Secretary of Labor."

'How far along are you?'

'They can be so modest at this age.'

"Please note nurse: healthy baby, next appointment in two weeks..."

'What a coincidence....that's my mum's name to!'

Susan used her ingenious invention to carry on playing golf during the final stages of her pregnancy!

Caution: False Contractions Ahead

Maternity Wing Sign: Please Wait To Push

Open other end

"Well at least now I ca almost imagine the level of pain my husband goes through when he's got a cold."

Parents sleeping on big pile of nappies while baby sleeps in bed

Safe sex is not making love with your helmet on.

Speeding pram with mum hanging on.