Pregnancy Protection Enthusiast Mugs

Maternity Fashion: Zika Net

Pregnant lady being greeted by foetus.

No kicking: 12-6 Mon-Sun

'I'm afraid this doubles your bill.'

"Mum's biological clock is ticking away...OOPS!...my mistake. That's indigestion."

"Don't be so dramatic. You tell me you're pregnant every day?"

Baby in womb chooses from multiple choice pregnancy symptoms...

'We're hoping to sell the naming rights.'

"All this stuff? I'm meeting for two now."

Baby on Board

"Wow! According to this if I dig straight down I'll find a delivery suite."

Welcome to the uterus. Please be seated. Your mother will be with you in nine months.

'It's Mrs. O'Hara...the one whose due date was 37 days ago...she's angry.'

"Nine months in here?? I trust I can get out in seven months with good behaviour!"

'This is boring. This uterus could sure do with a fast forward button.'

Maternity Arrivals

"No, dear, the baby didn't take a selfie. It's an ultrasound."

Baby Footballer

Beware of teething baby.

"We've completely child-proofed our home."

'It's a girl and she's an artist in her gestational period.'

"I think he's outgrown the baby gate."

Maternity Ward "Just call me the Secretary of Labor."

'What a coincidence....that's my mum's name to!'

'They can be so modest at this age.'

"Please note nurse: healthy baby, next appointment in two weeks..."

'How far along are you?'

Susan used her ingenious invention to carry on playing golf during the final stages of her pregnancy!

Open other end

Maternity Wing Sign: Please Wait To Push

Caution: False Contractions Ahead

"Well at least now I ca almost imagine the level of pain my husband goes through when he's got a cold."

Safe sex is not making love with your helmet on.

Delivery Room - Swear Box

Speeding pram with mum hanging on.