Prediction Pundit Pillows

Another long day down at the Bureau of Earthquake Prediction.

'An expert is one who knows tomorrow why the things he said yesterday didn't happen today.'

'I can't find today's weather report. I guess I'll just make it up. Hahahaha!'

In the Guru District

'Can't they just switch to smaller barrels?'

"Fred's calculating what future natural catastrophes he can ignore based on his probably life span."

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

Difference of Opinion

"We're suing you under equal opportunities legislation for failure to represent our rights"

'Thank heavens! For a minute there I thought it was the news!'

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

'I look forward to a bigger and bolder vision in my 2nd term.'

"Whoever made Keir Starmer did a sound professional job."

Library - Political Science section - 'What to do until the spin doctor comes'

"Mom, I'm bored. Do you know something I can get hysterical and panicky about?"

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

First you're a law student, then you're a lawyer, then you're a judge, then you're a politician, then you're a criminal.

"As I see it, 'Crazy politics' - like not voting on a supreme court nominee - is better than a complete government shutdown."

'It's cheaper than gas.'

"Still Undecided Political Blocs"

Display of political memoirs books categorized as: 'Non-fiction,' 'Fiction,' and 'Pure Fantasy'.

The wind catches Congressman Blowviatt's jerkin.

'Apologists today said little white lies -- but not the big lie -- may have played a part in Iraq Policies....'

U.S. Credit Rating

Fifty shades of Leveson.

"I think the teacher who says that I got into trouble today is part of the fake news conspiracy."

Honest Boris

Backtrack! A game of Political Undoing

'Yes, it's a stupid speech, Senator, but you've got to court the stupid VOTE.'

CONGRESS, 'No, no, you don't HAVE to fool all of the people all of the time - you just need to CONFUSE them!'

How to make crocodiles cry. . .Living wage proposal.

"Hear ye! Hear ye! Look, having nuclear - my uncle was a great professor and scientist and engineer, Dr. John Trump at M.I.T. - good genes, very good genes, O.K., very smart. . ."