Precise Paymaster Gifts

Gentleman wanting to know exactly how much he owes his butler

'C'mon get it straight.'

A small snooker player chalking his cue.

'Actually, accounting is an exact science.'

'Salaries Manager. No.'

Bullseye!

"Technically, it's a mammal."

You gotta hand it to the old man, he still knows how to motivate!

"I'm allergic to money. But luckily they've got antihistamines for that."

'I told you, you were missing a decimal point.'

The perfectionist.

Money god

'Wilbur took really, really good care of his car.'

"A good quarter is a joy forever."

'Our expenses have decreased 20 per cent since we started refilling our own ink jet cartridges.'

'I've figured out a way to lower your income tax...give you less income.'

"Here's your paycheck. I hope we'll both find it amusing."

'I had every intention of giving you your pay check, Ken, but the payroll computer has decided you don't deserve it.'

Fenton always makes a backup hard copy of his mental notes.

"He used to be a senior fact checker at Meta — now he's just a pedant."

"If you keep perfectly still, I can do all five cavities at once."

'No raise, but we can make your desk and chair one-inch taller.'

Dollar

Cuts, Measurements, Certain, Sloppy

'Oh, that's a deduction to pay for management perks.'

Fake Counterfeit Money

'Stare at it all you want sir, but I can assure you, no one is going to jump out and yell 'April Fools.'

PAYMASTER, 'Just to be on the safe side, we withheld EVERYTHING this week.'

'Financial suicide hotline. How may I help you?'

A tailor measuring a jacket.

'How high can the adjustable interest rate go? Well, now, we don't want to get bogged down in a lot of technicalities, do we?'

PAYMASTER, 'Just to be on the safe side, we withheld EVERYTHING this week.'

Chasing the dollar

Ski-ball.

'Your assets are perfectly safe with us, it's ring fenced - and of course we reconcile regularly sir.'