Pre-wedding Celebrations Gifts

"Gals, you know I hate being the center of attention, so for the next 45 minutes I am going to monologue about all the minute details of my wedding planning."

Lesbian civil partnership.

Mardi Gras

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

"He's taken buzzed to a whole new level."

'Oh my God. I love it!'

Peephole in a pile of presents (colour).

'Sooner or later, someone at the party will hand you a sandwich and a glass of wine - then what?'

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

Bacchus.

"Hic. Gosh and begorrah!" "Wha?"

"She can walk the walk, but can she talk the talk?"

"Blow out the candles!" "Make a wish!" "I wish I had my testicles back."

Dancing Doctor

The Grasshopper's Feast: A Prophetic Vision

Cardiac Recovery.

'That'll be four twenty for the beers and sixty quid for the Xmas decorations.'

Wedding Day Itinerary.

Bubbly

"Happy St Patrick’s Day"

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

"I ask that today is a good day...a day that brings family together...to show how we need one another."

'Apparently the stag party has gone into extra time.'

"Fred's had too much to drink - now he's hitting on that old coat rack."

"Attention, everyone! Here comes Poppa, and we're going to drive dull care away! It's quips and cranks and wanton wiles, nods and becks and wreathed smiles."

Chritmas Party - "What in our own time?"

"Business is booming! Come in and see our explosive sales today!"

Happy Turkey Day!

'How about joining us for a soda and pizza after the ceremony?'

Birthday Cakes: From Around the World

Giant reptiles use building as a pinata.

"I can't imagine why we didn't think of this before."

Johannes Sebastian Bach