Pre-wedding Celebrations Pillows

"Gals, you know I hate being the center of attention, so for the next 45 minutes I am going to monologue about all the minute details of my wedding planning."

Lesbian civil partnership.

Mardi Gras

'Oh my God. I love it!'

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

"He's taken buzzed to a whole new level."

Peephole in a pile of presents (colour).

'Sooner or later, someone at the party will hand you a sandwich and a glass of wine - then what?'

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

Bacchus.

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

"Happy St Patrick’s Day"

'That'll be four twenty for the beers and sixty quid for the Xmas decorations.'

"Hic. Gosh and begorrah!" "Wha?"

The Grasshopper's Feast: A Prophetic Vision

"Blow out the candles!" "Make a wish!" "I wish I had my testicles back."

Dancing Doctor

Bubbly

Wedding Day Itinerary.

Cardiac Recovery.

"She can walk the walk, but can she talk the talk?"

"Fred's had too much to drink - now he's hitting on that old coat rack."

"I ask that today is a good day...a day that brings family together...to show how we need one another."

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

'Apparently the stag party has gone into extra time.'

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

"Attention, everyone! Here comes Poppa, and we're going to drive dull care away! It's quips and cranks and wanton wiles, nods and becks and wreathed smiles."

Chritmas Party - "What in our own time?"

"I can't imagine why we didn't think of this before."

'How about joining us for a soda and pizza after the ceremony?'

Johannes Sebastian Bach

Happy Turkey Day!

"The eggnog fountain is a bad idea."

"Business is booming! Come in and see our explosive sales today!"