Engagement Celebration Pillows

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

"I'm wearing a mask so I won't be recognized holding this."

Save the Date

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

'Oh my God. I love it!'

Couples' therapy

A couple dressed as a knife and fork

'Come on, you can make it work! You're supposed to be Lovebirds after all...'

Just married and Just Single and Happy.

"Gals, you know I hate being the center of attention, so for the next 45 minutes I am going to monologue about all the minute details of my wedding planning."

'If that's a proposal, I accept!'

"...And do you promise if you ever should divorce that you'll remain friends?"

'I'd like your permission to enter into pre-nuptial negotiations...'

'Oh, thank you, Neville. If I had lips, I'd kiss you.'

'Mom, Dad... we found out that in a previous life, Sheila was a dog and I was a tree. That's why we decided to marry to continue this promising relationship!'

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.'

'Are we there yet, I love surprises.'

'I want to finish with him, but I'll have to wait until he's made the final payment on my engagement ring.'

'Or you can rent by the week...'

French horn.

'Oh my! He finally proposed!'

'Sorry, but my car is a hybrid and I wouldn't accept anything less in a husband.'

"Till death us do part? Don't be so bloody morbid!"

"Well, who's stupid idea was it to honeymoon on Moonlight bay?!"

The Plinth Wedding Planner Co.

'Silly me, I brought the wrong book -- You two just swore an oath of celibacy.'

It is my mother's, she uses it as an anchor for our yacht.

Proposal

"I'll agree to a pre-nup if you'll agree to a non-compete clause."

"Oh darling! I just got your wonderful value added proposition! Of course I'll marry you!"

Henceforth including, but expressly not limited to love and honor and cherish and ... These vows are light on romance, but they're iron-clad legally!

"Don't you think we should wait to see the effects of the new tax code?"

'Don't try to sweet talk me, Eddie! You had your chance yesterday! We are through!'

"Will the role of wife call for any nudity?"

"Hold on—I'm getting information as to why these two should not be wed."