Pratfall Pro Gifts

"Only you could walk into a door at 'doors open'!"

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

"Why can't the rest of you be more like Rollins, here? He does his homework!"

"This is nice … let’s not hop again tomorrow."

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

"Unfortunately, the consumer was not as demanding as we had hoped."

"Hmmm ... that's interesting. Now, what about ideas that don't suck - do you have any of those?"

"National security adviser"

"We're playing doctor. Do you have any old magazines for our waiting room?"

"Fantastic presentation! All of the investors loved it."

"I don't believe I've missed a single sign since you made the switch to Power Point."

"Whereas we used to display losses in shocking and offensive red, we now display them in warm and comforting toasted almond."

"It's confusing when everybody has a pointer."

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

"One of the most compelling graphic presentations I've ever seen!"

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

'Maybe the reason we don't have those 'off the chart' sales anymore is because our charts are too big.'

'On the plus side we've saved money by getting all the numbers on one graph.'

Worker ant's To Do list.

'I see you're still trying to get the staff enthused over the weekly meetings.' (Meeting offers free coffee, free snacks, eye-popping charts, exciting videos and free idea pads).

"For cryin' out loud, Frank, we don't have all day! Cut to the cheese!"

Armed forces waiting with nothing to do.

'It's perfect, but can we see it in white?'

'I won't lower myself to the level of my opponent.'

Is plagiarism the same as value adding?

"As you can see, our corporate structure is turtles all the way down."

Bottom line, is that the sweet smell of success or your aftershave?

Around here it got a little tricky...

'Duly noted. Now, shall we move on or does anyone else feel the need to have a conniption?'

The probability of an event occurring is inversely proportional to its desirability.

How lazy people decide what to eat

'I tried everything to turn this around but if the cops ask, I was here in this room with you guys all week.'

'It's my own fault. I never upgraded my skills. I was replaced by a man half my age with a more advanced smartphone and hundreds of productive apps.'