Play-by-play Pro Gifts

'Call 911! He watched 12 straight hours of football without training adequately.'

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

"Business doesn't take a summer vacation."

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

"Unfortunately, the consumer was not as demanding as we had hoped."

"National security adviser"

"Hmmm ... that's interesting. Now, what about ideas that don't suck - do you have any of those?"

"We're playing doctor. Do you have any old magazines for our waiting room?"

Coping with a strong-willed child

"I don't believe I've missed a single sign since you made the switch to Power Point."

"I just realized you're my entire entourage."

"Fantastic presentation! All of the investors loved it."

"Whereas we used to display losses in shocking and offensive red, we now display them in warm and comforting toasted almond."

"A little help, please."

"It's confusing when everybody has a pointer."

"One of the most compelling graphic presentations I've ever seen!"

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

'Maybe the reason we don't have those 'off the chart' sales anymore is because our charts are too big.'

'On the plus side we've saved money by getting all the numbers on one graph.'

'I see you're still trying to get the staff enthused over the weekly meetings.' (Meeting offers free coffee, free snacks, eye-popping charts, exciting videos and free idea pads).

"For cryin' out loud, Frank, we don't have all day! Cut to the cheese!"

'It's perfect, but can we see it in white?'

'I won't lower myself to the level of my opponent.'

"As you can see, our corporate structure is turtles all the way down."

Bottom line, is that the sweet smell of success or your aftershave?

Around here it got a little tricky...

'Duly noted. Now, shall we move on or does anyone else feel the need to have a conniption?'

The probability of an event occurring is inversely proportional to its desirability.

'Not that slowly back...'

'I tried everything to turn this around but if the cops ask, I was here in this room with you guys all week.'

Your presentation will be terrific. I was up all night, but something's still missing. Here. I've got just what you need. How thoughtful! Eye concealer! No need to thank me.

When a speaker says '...to make a long story short,' you've already been there 3 hours.