Profit Pro Gifts

Propping up a profits chart.

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

"Why can't the rest of you be more like Rollins, here? He does his homework!"

"Although technically it's a profit and loss statement, the narrative is admittedly rather one-sided."

"I need to see your budget proposal."

'These are the end of year figures recollected in tranquility.'

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

ACME Balloon Company.

Soaring Profits

"Maybe we should have another look at the 'business as usual' idea."

"The new revenue stream is finally kicking in."

'A short economics test - if you bought something for

Worker ant's To Do list.

'Now this is my kind of green!'

'We're all right as long as they think we're taking millions.'

"I intend to stay in this job, come Hell or high water."

'There are only three things that matter in this world, son... bottom line...'

Smiling businessman with rising profits

Business cartoon showing sales declining so much that they bounce off the floor.

"Sorry, but there aren't enough life jackets to go around."

'Please remember, it's not a lie if it turns a profit.'

'It's my own fault. I never upgraded my skills. I was replaced by a man half my age with a more advanced smartphone and hundreds of productive apps.'

"Now that's how to declare a dividend!"

'Guess who made a bushel today?'

"Oh, I can't complain"

Unrealistic expectations tend to lead to disappointment. . .

'I say, let's not be hasty in enforcing the mandatory retirement age.'

'This is why we can't have nice things... '

"I suppose you're all wondering why I called this meeting today."

Stress

'I would like to see a little less adventure in this business venture.'

'I need a tool to measure productivity.'

'We were in the right place at the right time but, unfortunately, we were in the wrong time zone.'

"So our agreed strategy is to dominate the market and it creeps profits by 670%. Anybody any idea how to do it?"

'I think you'll find these projections somewhat exaggerated, but in a good way.'