Practical Advice Lover Gifts

'Well, put a jumper on if you're cold!'

"Feel free to take notes."

"You've reached Randy the love doctor. What ails you?"

'In general, do the right thing.'

"Listen to me, Nathan. Chicks love bad boys."

Never pick a fight with a comedian.

"No, I want to know the meaning of never calling your mother."

"Your father would be able to afford to send you to a good college if only he had listened to me when he was your age!"

"If you see this as motherly advice, we have a whole new subject to explore."

'Have you considered getting a life-coach?'

'If you can tell the difference between good advice and bad advice, you don't need advice.'

"Only time can heal a broken heart, Brenda, and fortunately I have the time, every Thursday at three o'clock."

It's the Ask Sadie Advice Hour. For the next two hours, I'll be taking your calls. I'll tell you how to fix your hopeless relationship or cope with all the people at work who really are better than you. Then I'll berate you for not manning up and dealing with it on your own instead of bugging me about it! Los Angeles, CA, you're on. What's your problem? Click.

"We can work up to antidepressants, but for now I want to start you on eating a whole jar of cocktail olives over the kitchen sink."

'I've fallen in love and i've fallen in porage and believe me: porage is better.'

'It makes a cutting edge fashion statement, plus it has room for a gas mask and compact bio hazard suit.'

'The secret to staying in business, Wilson, is making something that's needed. Profit!'

"The horse is nice, but we could really use the blender."

'... And as soon as it's discovered, don't play with fire!'

"There's someone here who says she has a word to the wise. Do we have anyone like that?"

Ask Sadie. Dear Sadie, I am a 24-year-old man. The woman I am about to marry is having second thoughts because she believes that we are too young. What do you think? - Jacob. Actual reader letter. Great question. When is the right time to marry? Randy, our commitment expert, would you like to handle this one? Jacob, really, what were you expecting?! Medic! Randy's not moving.

'How do you think I ended up alone on the top of a mountain?'

"Do not bury yourself alive if allergic to burying yourself alive."

'I asked you for one good reason why I should follow your advice, not six.'

Avoid boys who spend more on hair products than you do!

"Always stay rooted, or you'll turn into a tumbleweed..."

'My astrologer says one thing, my guru says another, my psychiatrist says something else - I don't know who to turn to anymore.'

What's your question for "Ask Sadie"? I've been talking to … um … Tina for three whole weeks … Do you think it's too early to try and get her to move out her near me? Excellent question. The answer is, we're all barreling full-steam toward death and incontinence. So seize the moment!!! that's both depressing and uplifting at the same time.

"That one is non-wash. Also no ironing is required."

'Goodness, Edgar! That's not the least bit funny! You scared me half to death!'

"I'll give you some advice. When you're up to your nose, keep your mouth shut."

It's the Dr. Sadie Advice Hour. For the next two hours, I'll be taking your calls. You're on, Boise. What's your problem?! I don

'This box usually yields one or two sensible suggestions,four or five stupid ideas,ten to twenty immoral suggestions and several hundred candy wrappers.'

'Oh yeah! My self help group knows a lot more than your psychiatrist. First of all, there's a lot more of them.'

"Dear Ask Sadie, My mom is always nagging me to clean my room. I don't see why I should have to. I like it the way it is. I don't nag at her for having a clean room, because I know that's how she likes it. How can I get her to just let me be?" "Excellent question. The thing is, it's your mother's job to shape you into a respectable person." "If you think 'being you' includes being dirty, that means you're a dirty, slovenly filth-beast..." "...who will end up alone and miserable because no liv