Powertrain Punsters Gifts

'I wouldn't consider you an environmentalist when your hybrid runs on half crude oil and half coal.'

Cake Free Zone

Another Turning Point in History. Oh, the heck with it -- I'll never get these antlers right. Mickey Moose.

"Ugh! They always spell my name wrong?"

Nuclear waste.

'We had an Old Testament skit today. Al Sims was the Hittite, and I was the hittee.'

"YOU pass him on the left."

Cover story: Oil Workers Monthly.

Hamlet.

To scare the pants off of kids who threw snowballs at his car, Ray outfitted it with exploding fake body panels.

"Hey, have you ever asked yourself why you need to cross the street before hurling yourself into traffic?"

Don't even dream of parking here.

"Jack Russell?"

Where's Slinky going? To Florida, for spring training.

Driver to tire salesman: 'I drive on a lot of rough roads. How much to pave the tires?'

"It's a new career for me. I left the business world because I kept running companies into the ground."

Cows buying from 'Pants R us'

'Maybe complimentary refills wasn't such a good idea.'

"Do you think there might be a bitcoin in it?"

Karat Stew - 'I think it needs more bullion.'

Central Reservations Available.

'It was the M25, Junction 14; your father crossed over to the other side. In more ways than one.'

Nuclear power plant.

"I sold my car $1500 last week! It's actually worth only $750! The guy understood! I'd just filled it up with gas!"

'Later on we'll tell them it's oil.'

F&E Produce. "Eggplant"? I'll never understand biology.

'Well, I guess it's not worth waiting for the bus any longer...'

Iran Nuke Treaty

"Looks a little pricey"

Don't wok.

People with and without tickets on a train

Oil barrels: Crude, Refined, Downright Snobbish

Car on back.

"This is an initial public offering."