Powertrain Punsters Pillows

'I wouldn't consider you an environmentalist when your hybrid runs on half crude oil and half coal.'

Cake Free Zone

"Ugh! They always spell my name wrong?"

Nuclear waste.

'We had an Old Testament skit today. Al Sims was the Hittite, and I was the hittee.'

"YOU pass him on the left."

Cover story: Oil Workers Monthly.

Hamlet.

"Hey, have you ever asked yourself why you need to cross the street before hurling yourself into traffic?"

"Jack Russell?"

Driver to tire salesman: 'I drive on a lot of rough roads. How much to pave the tires?'

"It's a new career for me. I left the business world because I kept running companies into the ground."

Cows buying from 'Pants R us'

'Maybe complimentary refills wasn't such a good idea.'

"Do you think there might be a bitcoin in it?"

Karat Stew - 'I think it needs more bullion.'

Central Reservations Available.

'It was the M25, Junction 14; your father crossed over to the other side. In more ways than one.'

Nuclear power plant.

"I sold my car $1500 last week! It's actually worth only $750! The guy understood! I'd just filled it up with gas!"

'Later on we'll tell them it's oil.'

'Well, I guess it's not worth waiting for the bus any longer...'

Iran Nuke Treaty

"Looks a little pricey"

Don't wok.

People with and without tickets on a train

Oil barrels: Crude, Refined, Downright Snobbish

Car on back.

"This is an initial public offering."