Pedal-powered Punster Pillows

"YOU pass him on the left."

Car on back.

"Microwave to replace gas or oil central heating?" "Yes. Think how cheap it is to microwave a cup of tea!"

'Iguana know what time it is.'

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

Dog Walker

Note Book

"Igor, you fool! I said 'healthy brain'!"

'We had an Old Testament skit today. Al Sims was the Hittite, and I was the hittee.'

"Only 150 kids? - Have you considered fertility treatment?"

A Tongue Stud.

"Actually, There's a lot less pressure since I've gone from his best friend to his therapy dog."

"No, I'm not a hare, I just happen to have big ears..."

A-Hem! I'm still singing here!

'Hopefully this will not have a negative impact on my dinner.'

Hamlet.

...Isolated clumps of strange matter pop briefly out of the quantum foam to debate the possible existence of particle physicists.

'I'll have a Martini, Jack. Extra dry.'

'Ah look, what a lovely tortoise shell cat.'

"Is that one of those brandy dogs?"

'My mom says an apple a day keeps the physician's assistant away.'

"Photons have mass, but their rest mass is zero."

'Not too serious just a couple of particles collided.'

'Hey, Lady, this is a sixty zone!'

'That's Princess... formerly 'Prince'.'

Surfin' the web.

". . . But, according to your cat, you had a fur ball contract."

Lawyer Xing

'I have a rasp in my throat.'

The Stand-up Petrophysicist...

Two particles outside Hadron Collider; 'Fancy getting smashed this evening?'

"So the vet says, 'If this is my thermometer, then where's my pen?' . . . Get it!? . . . IS this thing on!?"

"He's a shiitake."