Powerpoint Presenters Gifts

Why Grandma, what big teeth you have, said Little Red Riding Hood (Parent's bedtime story is presentation).

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

Showbiz Awards

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

Can't Do the Math/Won't Do the Math.

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

"The trend in tough economic times is to put off everything that doesn't require immediate action ? as this chart shows."

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

'That last meeting was a complete turn-off.'

'Now THAT'S a presentation! Great delivery, great graphics, and he moonwalks from the room.'

"I don't believe I've missed a single sign since you made the switch to Power Point."

"A dozen eggs and a pint of semi-skimmed...Sorry, looks like I left my presentation in my other coat."

"Three weeks until the pitch, LOADS of time!"

"Who wants to hear a funny story about the third quarter?"

'Ted, I really wish you'd update your presentation software so we could do away with the 3-D glasses.'

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

The number one injury in today's workplace: severe bends caused by repeated exposure to deep-dive presentations.

'These are the end of year figures recollected in tranquility.'

Presentation: Thinking each other are idiots.

"Are you sure you want to present your ideas in the form of an airplane?"

"Let me now direct your attention to the pepperoni."

'It's perfect, but can we see it in white?'

'For the actress who benefitted most by rehab...'

"I don't know what I'm going to do...my presentation is due on Monday and I haven't even started...I'm not sure I know how to speak."

"You need to take the weak parts of your presentation and work them into something that won't get you fired."

Presentation skills.

Downward arrow on progress chart goes through the floor: 'OK, I know this doesn't look good ...'

Kiwi Ingenuity

"While you make the sales presentation, Monica. I'll scope out the room and try to identify this company's Achilles heel!"

'I'm now going to open the floor to questions.'

'And in conclusion, perhaps a change of business model is in order.'

'...The good news is the Guggenheim has offered $2,500,000 for our chart.'

"Maybe you do have all the answers but they didn't match any of our questions."

Graph leads down into egg with a big crack.

'Do you know what I miss? - Chalk talks!'