Power Presenter Gifts

"I think Quigley likes our proposal. His antennae quivered during the presentation!"

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

Showbiz Awards

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

Can't Do the Math/Won't Do the Math.

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

"The trend in tough economic times is to put off everything that doesn't require immediate action ? as this chart shows."

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

'Now THAT'S a presentation! Great delivery, great graphics, and he moonwalks from the room.'

"I don't believe I've missed a single sign since you made the switch to Power Point."

"A dozen eggs and a pint of semi-skimmed...Sorry, looks like I left my presentation in my other coat."

"Three weeks until the pitch, LOADS of time!"

'Ted, I really wish you'd update your presentation software so we could do away with the 3-D glasses.'

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

The number one injury in today's workplace: severe bends caused by repeated exposure to deep-dive presentations.

'These are the end of year figures recollected in tranquility.'

"Are you sure you want to present your ideas in the form of an airplane?"

"Let me now direct your attention to the pepperoni."

'It's perfect, but can we see it in white?'

'For the actress who benefitted most by rehab...'

"I don't know what I'm going to do...my presentation is due on Monday and I haven't even started...I'm not sure I know how to speak."

Presentation skills.

'85.4% of people use phony statistics to get their point across.'

"Killer performance, but let's get back to the dog and pony show."

Kiwi Ingenuity

"Wow! That's some PowerPoint presentation."

"While you make the sales presentation, Monica. I'll scope out the room and try to identify this company's Achilles heel!"

'I'm now going to open the floor to questions.'

'...The good news is the Guggenheim has offered $2,500,000 for our chart.'

"I've no idea what he said...but he's so darned cute."

'Do you know what I miss? - Chalk talks!'

'I wish you would update your presentation software so we could do away with the 3-D glasses.'

"Maybe the pie chart should have been refrigerated."

"No, it hasn't anything to do with my presentation. But wait until you see how I hold everyone's attention with it sitting next to me at the podium."