Power Presenter T-Shirts

"I think Quigley likes our proposal. His antennae quivered during the presentation!"

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

Showbiz Awards

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

Can't Do the Math/Won't Do the Math.

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

"The trend in tough economic times is to put off everything that doesn't require immediate action ? as this chart shows."

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

'Now THAT'S a presentation! Great delivery, great graphics, and he moonwalks from the room.'

"Three weeks until the pitch, LOADS of time!"

"A dozen eggs and a pint of semi-skimmed...Sorry, looks like I left my presentation in my other coat."

'These are the end of year figures recollected in tranquility.'

'Ted, I really wish you'd update your presentation software so we could do away with the 3-D glasses.'

The number one injury in today's workplace: severe bends caused by repeated exposure to deep-dive presentations.

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

"Are you sure you want to present your ideas in the form of an airplane?"

"Let me now direct your attention to the pepperoni."

"I don't know what I'm going to do...my presentation is due on Monday and I haven't even started...I'm not sure I know how to speak."

'For the actress who benefitted most by rehab...'

Presentation skills.

'85.4% of people use phony statistics to get their point across.'

Kiwi Ingenuity

"Killer performance, but let's get back to the dog and pony show."

"While you make the sales presentation, Monica. I'll scope out the room and try to identify this company's Achilles heel!"

'I'm now going to open the floor to questions.'

'...The good news is the Guggenheim has offered $2,500,000 for our chart.'

'Do you know what I miss? - Chalk talks!'

"I've no idea what he said...but he's so darned cute."

'I wish you would update your presentation software so we could do away with the 3-D glasses.'

"I'll need some distracting hilarity on the borders of my quarterly report."

"No, it hasn't anything to do with my presentation. But wait until you see how I hold everyone's attention with it sitting next to me at the podium."