Power Rangers Fan Pillows

"Hey Coen, what are you watching?"

'You do a passable Jerry Lewis, but your Frank Sinatra stinks.'

'But Honey, if we have kids, we won't be endangered anymore: We will lose all the social benefits and attention...'

"What's 'ET' short for. . . ?"

Mars Rover

"He turns into this horrible thing every full moon!"

"Did you order takeout?"

"Just be proud we're the first father-son ice dancing team."

"Maybe we can find water on Mars."

'Don't tell me - you've come as a newsreader?'

"Must you wonder if the Rangers will start Lundqvist with a strained groin Friday night against the Devils so loudly?!"

"We have to keep them guessing."

Who said money was not a motivator?

'Sit down, Dave. You're not impressing anyone with your new laser-eye treatment.'

"He believes it will freeze over any day now."

"Then I said, let's stay with Santa's sleigh, but nooo ... you wanted to see a Rangers game!"

"And you can quote me on that."

"Please confine your testimony to "Yes" or "No" answers and skip the "Nevermore" stuff, OK?"

Curiosity Killed The (Martian) Cat...

Doctor with funny glasses to patient: 'We don't need a radiologist. My new x-ray glasses allow me to see right through you.'

'Is this irony or coincidence?'

Telepath for Ms Thompson...

"You gotta teach me that trick."

"As a harbinger of doom, you're a little late."

'Early Toupees'.

"If there is a processing problem, just come to me, and please, no whimpering in the cubicles."

J. Willems - batting champ, home run champ, tested negative for steroids.

Dyslexic Pandas

"Well it sounds like racial profiling to me, Buddy, but if you must know...I'm black, white and Asian."

"Ok, Ok, get your selfie and p*** off!"

Snow Shortage Alps