Power Rangers Fan Gifts

"Hey Coen, what are you watching?"

"I'd like to apply for a hardship license."

'You do a passable Jerry Lewis, but your Frank Sinatra stinks.'

'But Honey, if we have kids, we won't be endangered anymore: We will lose all the social benefits and attention...'

"What's 'ET' short for. . . ?"

Mars Rover

Frank Sinatra.

"He turns into this horrible thing every full moon!"

"Maybe we can find water on Mars."

'Don't tell me - you've come as a newsreader?'

"Did you order takeout?"

"Just be proud we're the first father-son ice dancing team."

Who said money was not a motivator?

Raccoon receiving IV of garbage.

"We have to keep them guessing."

"Must you wonder if the Rangers will start Lundqvist with a strained groin Friday night against the Devils so loudly?!"

'Sit down, Dave. You're not impressing anyone with your new laser-eye treatment.'

"And you can quote me on that."

It burns when I tinkle.

"Then I said, let's stay with Santa's sleigh, but nooo ... you wanted to see a Rangers game!"

"He believes it will freeze over any day now."

'I see Arsenal has just paid £10m. . . Three spectators from Rangers.'

"Please confine your testimony to "Yes" or "No" answers and skip the "Nevermore" stuff, OK?"

Curiosity Killed The (Martian) Cat...

'Is this irony or coincidence?'

Doctor with funny glasses to patient: 'We don't need a radiologist. My new x-ray glasses allow me to see right through you.'

"You gotta teach me that trick."

Bruce Springsteen caricature

"As a harbinger of doom, you're a little late."

'Early Toupees'.

Telepath for Ms Thompson...

"If there is a processing problem, just come to me, and please, no whimpering in the cubicles."

J. Willems - batting champ, home run champ, tested negative for steroids.

I've had a puncture.

Dyslexic Pandas