Power Outage Warrior Gifts

The Fuse

'I hate playing in an inflatable dome during a power outage.'

"Make sure the coffee has extra caffeine. I want the employees awake during overtime."

"I can work for twelve straight hours without needing to be recharged."

"It's a 24/7 work culture out there!"

'It's a beautiful lighthouse. However, hauling the batteries up the stairs has taken its toll on my back.'

"Don't get me wrong. I think it's great that Barbara decided she wanted to start exercising more after her surgery."

Leaf blowers at dawn.

"No need to rush. Take all weekend if you must."

"We can probably just about afford to run the pilot-light."

'I've got an appointment with Mr. Payne.' - 'He'll see you now.' - 'Okay, take a deep br-' - 'Gah!' - 'Great, now turn ov-' - 'Argh!' - 'And a final tw-' - 'Mummy!' - '*Sob*' - 'Okay, all done.' - 'Did you, by any chance...' - '...hear you crying...'

'I called the electric company and told them not to hurry to restore power.'

"It's a ransom note from our energy supplier!"

'Before I quit I couldn't even spell rehabilitation.'

'If you can't beat 'em join 'em.'

"First day out of bed?"

'Then I said, ‘This is crazy. You can't force me to work overtime.''

A man tries to avoid going over the waterfall of alcohol dependence.

"You're only 35 but you say you've worked for 42 years?"

Wal Max - Complaints Department

ALBA on Ebola

'Hi, my name's Dan and I have a drinking problem.'

'The computer will never replace maintenance engineering.'

"I'll be walking by your door in a second if you want to try to get my attention."

'I have stomach cramps.' - 'Oh.' - 'It feels like a cat raking its claws down the inside of my stomach.' - 'Oh.' - 'Raking in a good way or a bad way?' -

You should know, I expect my employees to work long hours. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16.

'I didn't get a promotion, but he put me on salary so I can work 60 hours a week without getting overtime.'

'You've cut me off. So how can I find my cheque book in the dark?'

Come with me. Things are tough around here and somebody may want to eat you.

'My boss said they might be laying off more people next week...what wine goes best with panic?'

'Why can't you guys be more like the hot water heater, who may pay for itself in two years.'

"Do you believe in life after drink?"

'Heroin chic isn't the look I'm going for. Do you have anything more rehab?'

A Lonely Man

"I bought this mattress for you so you can sleep in the office when you're working overtime...hey! I was expecting you to be a bit more grateful, mister!"