Power Outage Humorist Gifts

Post-Super Bowl XLVII Equipment Updates.

"Quick, Lassie, go get I.T.!"

AA Meeting Here Today

What's that? - 'It's a mosquito bite.' - 'Scratch it!' - 'No, I need to buy some cream.' - 'Make it bleed!!!' - 'Gahhh!!!' -

Could you send a plumber out? I think the washers have gone!

"Our cloud computing services include IaaS, PaaS, SaaS, NaaS, CaaS...and BaaS!"

"Ya know, that cork was there for a reason."

TECHNICAL SUPPORT, 'Have you tried pounding it with your fist?'

Suez Canal Curse

"Hurry up and make a wish. Your cake's in there."

Elon Musk's Twitter Bid

Paramedics carrying a man away after his dinner.

"OK, now here comes the lava."

One of Indonesia's most feared Volcanoes: The mighty 'Kraka-toe-a'.

"Has anyone seen my therapist?"

Luck

"Now that the kids and grandkids are grown I can get back to more erotic embroidery."

"911? My husband's unresponsive."

'Password, password - come on Memory!'

'. . . If you need immediate help with the floods I understand Mrs Miggins at No. 9 has a canoe!'

'Pretend you don't notice San Andreas.'

'I know my electric bills are way over due, but could you at least wait until the World Series is over before turning off my electricity?'

Toilet Roll Drop

"You use tech language that I don't understand, so I brought an interpreter."

Forest Fire Hazard

"The Internet is down, so I got bored. They'll understand."

'It's a 'Universal' remote. Watch me change the channel on some guy in New Jersey.'

"There's a rumor that someone in the company is spreading a virus."

'Emergency - put me through to the yoga club immediately!'

'Pretend you don't notice San Andreas.'

"It's nothing serious...just a flooded engine."

'Which service do you require, sir - Fire, Police, Ambulance or Bank-rescue?'

Larry ignored all their warnings. 'The Big One, Larry. The cage won't protect you if the Big One hits'. And then one day it happened.

'We survived the plane crash, but now an oil spill is heading our way.'

'Right Miss Piggot...I see that according to our records you're pregnant and expecting a little girl in three months.'