Poultry Punderer Gifts

'At least he won't catch a cold this winter.'

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

The Rooster Comedian.

'Don't fall for all that...you should see him first thing in the morning.'

Chicken Little Inc. Pecking Order.

"I can assure you ladies all our eggs come from free range chickens."

Woman keeping a chicken in her room for fresh eggs

"Actually, it wasn't so bad. One minute I was standing in line at the slaughterhouse...The next thing I knew, I was being basted in my own juices..."

"Damn! Someone just asked for chicken drumsticks."

"Shouldn't there be some sort of pecking order around here?"

'Hello, Ebeneezer! It's me - the ghost of coming dinner!'

'This is taking too long - we'll have to induce hatching.'

'Let's forget the duck de la margola and order something else!' (man seeing duck fleeing from cook).

Chicken Funeral Planning.

'When they start calling you a splendid bird, you know you're in trouble.'

"Mum, what is a nugget?"

'You think irritable fowl syndrome is bad? Just wait until you hit menopause.'

"Half a dozen brown—three large, three jumbo!"

Suddenly, the line went dead.

"Cooky was askin' about you again."

Maternity ward on the farm.

"Don't be fooled - that's Henrietta, cross-dressing again."

Various Birds of Pray.

"I'm being promoted in the company's pecking order."

"Yes, there will be questions but you're unquestionably the nation's most badass mom."

"Dayum. She bootylicious."

"The body is eighty-two-per-cent broth."

"Let's just agree to disagree." "I suggested that first!"

"Who's next?"

'Mom said I'd be a late bloomer, but this is ridiculous.'

'And stop making that stupid clucking sound'

Brenda lost not only the egg toss, but something much, much more.

'Well Mrs. Henson, form the looks of this place, egg stacking, children claw marks, chicken blood graffiti, egg splat everywhere, I'd have to say this is the work of a poultry geist!'

'We don't have pressed duck, but we could shove around a chicken for you.'