Poultry Punster Gifts

"The body is eighty-two-per-cent broth."

'This is taking too long - we'll have to induce hatching.'

"Be honest Walter...Is it me you really love or just the farm-fresh eggs every morning?"

Perdue University.

Cloning lab

'I think I know how to make an egg.'

'The chicks can't sleep...have you been telling them Colonel Sanders horror stories again?'

'I've had that dream again about going on a journey - but my breasts and thighs are going to different places.'

A cook's nightmare: A chicken in every pot when she wants to make oatmeal.

'What do I think? It makes us look bloody ridiculous, that's what I think.'

'No, it's not a new prison issue uniform - I fell asleep in the chicken house.'

Fresh Free Range Eggs, "these eggs are laid by chickens which are allowed to roam and feed freely-indeed to cross the road if they feel like it"

'He specializes in chicken dishes.'

'Like it or not baby, I'm the only rooster in this henhouse...'

'We're out of the free-range chickens, sir. They ranged.'

'You're a free range chicken? -- That sounds so romantic!'

Headless Chicken picking out chief in a line up

'We don't have pressed duck, but we could shove around a chicken for you.'

'And stop making that stupid clucking sound'

'I'm not happy with these miserable little eggs!' 'Sorry sir, I should have let the hens sit on them a bit longer!'

"Damn! Someone just asked for chicken drumsticks."

"I keep forgetting. When do I cluck and when do I double-cluck?"

"Why are you giving them whiskey?"

"Is your business picking up?"

"You worry once a year, we are at risk year round."

Chicken Funeral Planning.

"You see. She just needed a little encouragement."

"Mum, what is a nugget?"

"What a traitor! It is supposed to be a well-guarded secret covered by a non-disclosure agreement..."

"Daylight come and me wan go home."

"He does have a dark side but it's mostly his back and thighs."

Wild Honey Maple Turkeys

"I got my reasons."

Yeah, but I hear she lays a mean Scotch egg.

Caution: Free range chickens next five miles. . . eggs, eggs, eggs!