Pumpkin Punster Gifts

"Actually, it's just Jack Lantern, there's no Irish in my family."

"I'm afraid there will be more cuts."

Few people know the tale of Lindarella, the sister who didn't get home by midnight.

Contrary to popular belief, the road to Hell is paved with a comprehensive, lifetime tax return.

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

'Iguana know what time it is.'

Dogs life

Dog Walker

"Only 150 kids? - Have you considered fertility treatment?"

Should I bark? Flow chart for dogs

"Damn! Someone just asked for chicken drumsticks."

"It was a botched surgery."

'This is taking too long - we'll have to induce hatching.'

"Hallelujah!"

Chicken Funeral Planning.

"Actually, There's a lot less pressure since I've gone from his best friend to his therapy dog."

"Mum, what is a nugget?"

'Sticky nuts...' "Umm nice nuts but not as sticky as us buns!!"

Public toiletsbathrooms for dogs using fire hydrants in cubicals.

"Cooky was askin' about you again."

'Ah look, what a lovely tortoise shell cat.'

The Poodle and The Twooudle.

Larry's Literary Market.

"The body is eighty-two-per-cent broth."

'Nice try, Billy, but dogma is not a puppy's mother!'

Lemming meringue pie.

Apple talks to banana, as pear looks on, saying: 'Look, it's hard to explain ??" you're just a funny guy, OK?'

His Other Shtick

'That's Princess... formerly 'Prince'.'

'Well Mrs. Henson, form the looks of this place, egg stacking, children claw marks, chicken blood graffiti, egg splat everywhere, I'd have to say this is the work of a poultry geist!'

'We don't have pressed duck, but we could shove around a chicken for you.'

Brenda lost not only the egg toss, but something much, much more.

'And stop making that stupid clucking sound'

'Shakin' bacon.'