Puck Punster Gifts

His Other Shtick

Contrary to popular belief, the road to Hell is paved with a comprehensive, lifetime tax return.

I think you're ace

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

Dogs life

Should I bark? Flow chart for dogs

"Damn! Someone just asked for chicken drumsticks."

'This is taking too long - we'll have to induce hatching.'

The Hockey Puckey

'We are gathered here...'

"Mum, what is a nugget?"

"Hallelujah!"

A-Hem! I'm still singing here!

Chicken Funeral Planning.

Public toiletsbathrooms for dogs using fire hydrants in cubicals.

'Hopefully this will not have a negative impact on my dinner.'

"I'm afraid there will be more cuts."

'According to my count, he sticked 23, gloved 18 and ate 5.'

'Well, you were convicted on three out of ten counts - at least we beat the point spread.'

'Don't worry, I would never tell the other free range chickens you're agoraphobic.'

The Poodle and The Twooudle.

"Cooky was askin' about you again."

"The body is eighty-two-per-cent broth."

'If you want to improve your golf score, the best wood to use is a pencil with an eraser.'

'Nice try, Billy, but dogma is not a puppy's mother!'

'We don't have pressed duck, but we could shove around a chicken for you.'

'Well Mrs. Henson, form the looks of this place, egg stacking, children claw marks, chicken blood graffiti, egg splat everywhere, I'd have to say this is the work of a poultry geist!'

Brenda lost not only the egg toss, but something much, much more.

'And stop making that stupid clucking sound'

'Shakin' bacon.'

"Be honest Walter...Is it me you really love or just the farm-fresh eggs every morning?"

'Play dead.'

Headless Chicken picking out chief in a line up

"What a traitor! It is supposed to be a well-guarded secret covered by a non-disclosure agreement..."

"Why are you giving them whiskey?"