Puck Punster Gifts

His Other Shtick

Contrary to popular belief, the road to Hell is paved with a comprehensive, lifetime tax return.

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

I think you're ace

Dogs life

Should I bark? Flow chart for dogs

"Damn! Someone just asked for chicken drumsticks."

'This is taking too long - we'll have to induce hatching.'

'We are gathered here...'

A-Hem! I'm still singing here!

Chicken Funeral Planning.

"Hallelujah!"

Public toiletsbathrooms for dogs using fire hydrants in cubicals.

"Mum, what is a nugget?"

'Hopefully this will not have a negative impact on my dinner.'

"I'm afraid there will be more cuts."

"Cooky was askin' about you again."

The Poodle and The Twooudle.

'According to my count, he sticked 23, gloved 18 and ate 5.'

'Well, you were convicted on three out of ten counts - at least we beat the point spread.'

"The body is eighty-two-per-cent broth."

'If you want to improve your golf score, the best wood to use is a pencil with an eraser.'

'Nice try, Billy, but dogma is not a puppy's mother!'

'We don't have pressed duck, but we could shove around a chicken for you.'

'And stop making that stupid clucking sound'

Brenda lost not only the egg toss, but something much, much more.

'Well Mrs. Henson, form the looks of this place, egg stacking, children claw marks, chicken blood graffiti, egg splat everywhere, I'd have to say this is the work of a poultry geist!'

'Shakin' bacon.'

"Be honest Walter...Is it me you really love or just the farm-fresh eggs every morning?"

'Play dead.'

Headless Chicken picking out chief in a line up

"Why are you giving them whiskey?"

"I keep forgetting. When do I cluck and when do I double-cluck?"

"What a traitor! It is supposed to be a well-guarded secret covered by a non-disclosure agreement..."