Poultry Motivational Speaker Gifts

"I believe in eggs, and I think that you all believe in eggs, too!"

The Rooster Comedian.

'Don't fall for all that...you should see him first thing in the morning.'

Chicken Little Inc. Pecking Order.

"I can assure you ladies all our eggs come from free range chickens."

'I told him not to wear stretchy pants to dinner.'

"It wasn't a farming accident. She just bit my head off again."

Woman keeping a chicken in her room for fresh eggs

'Hello, Ebeneezer! It's me - the ghost of coming dinner!'

"Shouldn't there be some sort of pecking order around here?"

'I don't think we should have any more eggs Chester. Maybe you should see the vet about having your chicken nuggets removed.'

On Sale Today Free Range Chickens...Back In One Hour.

'Let's forget the duck de la margola and order something else!' (man seeing duck fleeing from cook).

'With proper flossing there's no reason for hens to not have teeth.'

Hen Night

'You think irritable fowl syndrome is bad? Just wait until you hit menopause.'

"Half a dozen brown—three large, three jumbo!"

Suddenly, the line went dead.

"Nothing to worry about. A nuggetectomy is a very simple procedure."

Maternity ward on the farm.

"I'm being promoted in the company's pecking order."

"Dayum. She bootylicious."

"I have a sweet pad and thirteen girlfriends. Can't beat a chicken's life."

'Don't worry about retirement Irma: There's more to life than just laying eggs...'

'It might be a satanic cult: Not only did they chop his head off, they're stuffing his body with bread now...'

"I'm very proud of the grade A's, son, but what about these grade B smalls?"

"Don't be alarmed, Lois, but there appears to be a pop-up thermometer protruding from your right buttock."

'Mom said I'd be a late bloomer, but this is ridiculous.'

The Hen Commandments.

Turkey tries using a trick t-shirt to avoid being selected for dinner.

'I have to face it Irma, I haven't laid an egg in a week now: I'm menopausal...'

'You may want to consider diversifying your portfolio.'

'That's weird, do you smell barbecue sauce, Sarah'

Crowing Rehearsals

Chicken Little meets Chicken Medium.