Poultry Whisperer Gifts

"The flu is coming! The flu is coming!"

Maternity ward on the farm.

Woman keeping a chicken in her room for fresh eggs

"That's Bill, my understudy: The farmer wanted to include some redundancy in the wake-up call system..."

"See? I told you those ventriloquist lessons would pay off for us some day!"

"We can't break the laws of nature, the workers can only lay a maximum of one egg a day: To increase production, you need to recruit..."

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

Polly txt speak

Children's Parties

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

"Foster failure"

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

"Quick, start the car!"

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

Use the body brush vigorously - he will enjoy it.

"Lucky, I Said Heel!"

Dog Dreams

If a bunch of crazy red headed clowns come out that door...Run like you've never ran before!

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

'Ok, here comes farmer Brown, put these on and remember.......act natural!'

"This prognosis is positive, you've got a cold nose."

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

'Don't bite it.I have to check Daddy next.'

'Boy, watch out for that pursestring suture!'

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

"I forsee you will have a better chance of winning the lottery than growing your testicles back."

"The cat told me to eat your homework."

Hush puppy.

Girl wags her pony tail as dog wags his tail.

"Oh well, I guess I'm lucky that he's not a duck hunter."

'You know too much!'

The First Draft. . . Moby Duck.

Two old superheroes on a park bench feeding the birds.