Poultry Whisperer Gifts

"The flu is coming! The flu is coming!"

Maternity ward on the farm.

Woman keeping a chicken in her room for fresh eggs

"That's Bill, my understudy: The farmer wanted to include some redundancy in the wake-up call system..."

"See? I told you those ventriloquist lessons would pay off for us some day!"

"We can't break the laws of nature, the workers can only lay a maximum of one egg a day: To increase production, you need to recruit..."

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

Polly txt speak

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

"Foster failure"

"Quick, start the car!"

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

Use the body brush vigorously - he will enjoy it.

If a bunch of crazy red headed clowns come out that door...Run like you've never ran before!

Dog Dreams

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

"Lucky, I Said Heel!"

'Ok, here comes farmer Brown, put these on and remember.......act natural!'

"This prognosis is positive, you've got a cold nose."

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

'Boy, watch out for that pursestring suture!'

"The cat told me to eat your homework."

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

'You know too much!'

"Oh well, I guess I'm lucky that he's not a duck hunter."

"I forsee you will have a better chance of winning the lottery than growing your testicles back."

Hush puppy.

Girl wags her pony tail as dog wags his tail.

'Don't bite it.I have to check Daddy next.'

The First Draft. . . Moby Duck.

Two old superheroes on a park bench feeding the birds.

"That is an outrageous slur."