Potato Perfectionist T-Shirts

"You forgot to adjust your hilling discs again, didn't you?"

"There's got to be a better way to raise potatoes!"

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

The wonderful world of cheese.

'We like the occasional drink on the patio.'

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

Under pressure.

'Guess who just graduated cum laude from Sunnydale Obedience School?'

Gramma's Tators & Gravy...All You Can Eat!

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

"I've been listening to your podcast. And though I agree with your opinion on deforestation and global warming, I strongly disagree with your claim that I overcook my pasta."

Stupid Microwave

'I don't know how much more of this I can take!'

"The chef ran out of the shiitake-infused sweet potato au gratin, so he substituted hash browns."

"This alphabet soup is in Times New Roman. I ordered Segoe Script! May I please speak to the chef?"

"When Ed suggested 5 potato, 6 potato, 7 potato more, I suggested a vasectomy."

'Must you have chips with everything Sir Francis.'

"I just explained 'kugel' to him."

"We're actually going to grow potatoes on Mars!"

Papa's Pizza delivered in under 30 minutes.

'Oh, sure, it gets the creative juices going, but is it worth the cost?'

"And not only do I make my own pizza sauce, I have a special way of crushing the tomatoes!"

"How much longer on your visionary gnocchi, Stefano?"

"If you're ever granted three wishes, don't blow them all on a giant body with tiny arms legs."

Bread maker, coffee maker, tea maker, pasta maker.

'Peel, Spot! Peel!'

"Just pick one!! We're already late!!"

'this is the only place where no one is fooling around with the genes.'

Food Pyramid

"We'd like bruschetta, and we'd like it pronounced correctly."

I knew from the starch we were a perfect mash.

'They send you into the ketchup department? HA! I'M going into pizza!'

Staycation Photos

'I told you I only cook with my mother's Italian spices. She just left Naples and should be here with them in about eight hours.'

"Don't you just love it when they lick the plates?"