Potato Perfectionist T-Shirts

"You forgot to adjust your hilling discs again, didn't you?"

"There's got to be a better way to raise potatoes!"

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

The wonderful world of cheese.

'We like the occasional drink on the patio.'

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

Under pressure.

'Guess who just graduated cum laude from Sunnydale Obedience School?'

Gramma's Tators & Gravy...All You Can Eat!

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

"I've been listening to your podcast. And though I agree with your opinion on deforestation and global warming, I strongly disagree with your claim that I overcook my pasta."

Stupid Microwave

"Excuse me, but could you ask the chef to make this a little more photogenic?"

"The chef ran out of the shiitake-infused sweet potato au gratin, so he substituted hash browns."

"When Ed suggested 5 potato, 6 potato, 7 potato more, I suggested a vasectomy."

'I don't know how much more of this I can take!'

"This alphabet soup is in Times New Roman. I ordered Segoe Script! May I please speak to the chef?"

'Must you have chips with everything Sir Francis.'

'I think you've put that in the wrong place.'

"We're actually going to grow potatoes on Mars!"

Papa's Pizza delivered in under 30 minutes.

"I just explained 'kugel' to him."

'Oh, sure, it gets the creative juices going, but is it worth the cost?'

"And not only do I make my own pizza sauce, I have a special way of crushing the tomatoes!"

"How much longer on your visionary gnocchi, Stefano?"

'Peel, Spot! Peel!'

'I told you I only cook with my mother's Italian spices. She just left Naples and should be here with them in about eight hours.'

"We'd like bruschetta, and we'd like it pronounced correctly."

Bread maker, coffee maker, tea maker, pasta maker.

"Just pick one!! We're already late!!"

'They send you into the ketchup department? HA! I'M going into pizza!'

'this is the only place where no one is fooling around with the genes.'

Food Pyramid

Staycation Photos

"If you're ever granted three wishes, don't blow them all on a giant body with tiny arms legs."