Potato Person T-Shirts

"Just pick one!! We're already late!!"

Night of the Latkes

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

Gramma's Tators & Gravy...All You Can Eat!

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

"He refuses to talk and he never listens."

Stupid Microwave

"There's got to be a better way to raise potatoes!"

"When Ed suggested 5 potato, 6 potato, 7 potato more, I suggested a vasectomy."

"The chef ran out of the shiitake-infused sweet potato au gratin, so he substituted hash browns."

'Must you have chips with everything Sir Francis.'

Couch Potatoes

"I just explained 'kugel' to him."

"I made him out of my mom's mashed potatoes. Since there's no snow, I had to improvise."

"We're actually going to grow potatoes on Mars!"

'It's hard to slice a potato once you've looked it in the eye.'

'Peel, Spot! Peel!'

"If you're ever granted three wishes, don't blow them all on a giant body with tiny arms legs."

Watchdog

I knew from the starch we were a perfect mash.

"You have such beautiful eyes."

'Potatoes. How many would I need to make a bottle of vodka?'

'Have you noticed how portions are getting bigger?'

'It's a clear case of dehydration.'

"Are you sure this is the Irish guacamole?"

"You forgot to adjust your hilling discs again, didn't you?"

The Hypnotato,

Spud dating.

Mash-test Dummies.

Kim Jong Un returns triumphant from his meeting with Putin - holds aloft a single potato.

Mr. Tater Tot

Spud U Like/Spud U Don't Like.

"Hey. What are you doing to that card?"

'These new ideas are silly, Father, the boiled tobacco tasted awful and you've spent an age trying to light that potato.'