Potato Peelers Anonymous Gifts

“Sarge - When do I get to blow shit up?”

Night of the Latkes

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

Gramma's Tators & Gravy...All You Can Eat!

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

"He refuses to talk and he never listens."

Stupid Microwave

'Must you have chips with everything Sir Francis.'

"When Ed suggested 5 potato, 6 potato, 7 potato more, I suggested a vasectomy."

"The chef ran out of the shiitake-infused sweet potato au gratin, so he substituted hash browns."

Couch Potatoes

"O.K., one last big rhubarb score. But then I'm out of the pie game for good."

"I just explained 'kugel' to him."

"We're actually going to grow potatoes on Mars!"

"But, if I don't peel off the entire label, the label wins."

I knew from the starch we were a perfect mash.

'Peel, Spot! Peel!'

"If you're ever granted three wishes, don't blow them all on a giant body with tiny arms legs."

"Just pick one!! We're already late!!"

"You have such beautiful eyes."

'Potatoes. How many would I need to make a bottle of vodka?'

'We haven't been seeing eye-to-eye lately.'

A lot of attention gets paid to the Earl of Sandwich, and rightfully so, but let's not forget to show some respect for that neglected Lord of Lunch, the Viscount of Potato Salad.

A windfall pear falling straight into a bag of windfall pears.

"I get the feeling you're still keeping a lot of yourself inside."

"Are you sure this is the Irish guacamole?"

Spud dating.

'Maybe you should try flowers?'

The Hypnotato,

Mash-test Dummies.

Kim Jong Un returns triumphant from his meeting with Putin - holds aloft a single potato.

Spudhenge

Prize Winning Potato - Champion Chips

Spud U Like/Spud U Don't Like.

'Heel! HEEL! Bad potato!'