Pot Stirrer Gifts

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

"I said slime."

Drink for me and my hot mamma. Now! We don't serve beer. Latte. Two, punk! Decaf. You don't want to see him angry. Also, low-foam and soy milk would be great. You don't want to see him gassy. Can I get one of those little Twizzler sticks to stir it with? Cube of brown sugar, please. And one nonfat blueberry scone! Two! I'd like to see how John Wayne would've ordered a fancy coffee drink.

Boy and his dog

'What's amazing is that I only threw one stick.'

'I don't think you quite grasp our overall motif.'

'There are two types of alchemy - there's organic and there's inorganic.'

"You'll build another bug collection in no time."

"Wait a minute, is that toad I taste? I told you I've gone vegan, Cynthia!"

The eye of newt - Is it gluten-free?

Witch in drugstore: They're endangered now, so I need a newt substitute.'

'Quickly boy, tell me which test tube you drank from?!'

'Of course it's high in protein. Just look at this!'

"Let's try 'roll over.' We can come back to this."

'A large Swiss Pharmaceuticals company has expressed serious interest in my potion.'

...If sauce has not begun to thicken after 10 minutes, pour contents back into can and wait for your wife to get home.

"Thank you."

"You'd be amazed how just a little soybean meal adds to the protein content of powdered bats wing and next tails."

'If this elixir works, I see an over-the-counter version in three years.'

"How's my wife doing in the discus tryouts? I can tell you that, at home, she's hell on wheels with saucers and plates."

Ugggghhh....eye of newt's off!

"It's a little bland, because I microwaved it."

"Don't you love the smell of burning leather boots this time of year?"

"I'm beginning to believe that this is just busy work."

'Of course it's lite. I wouldn't make it if it wasn't lite.'

Spells. I love Wiccanpedia!

'I remember when tea leaves were the state of the art method of determining your inventory needs.'

Using plant pots to reach inaccessible object

"No, it's a single ingredient - baby carrots."

After the curevac disaster: German overnment now invests in a serious pharmaceutical company.

''Fetch'? - What are you, my personal trainer?'

Magic Mushrooms

"Is that your resting witch or resting bitch face. . .?"

Setting fire to the US flag

"Something pickled this way comes!"