Postal Detective Gifts

US Mail Wrecked

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

'So let me see if I've got it straight. It was a very large squirrel and your husband is a nut.'

"Evidence suggests she was working on the puzzle, got up to make tea, husband enters and puts last piece in..."

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

CSI: Mother Goose Unit...'Hmmm...I'm beginning to suspect that perhaps mister Dumpty's demise wasn't simply a tragic accident.'

Barks in code.

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

hard-boiled egg...

Missing Persons...'I'm not sure when she disappeared - sometime during the football season.'

Round up all the king's horses and all the king's men for questioning.

"Talk, Wallace - where'd you hide the loot?"

'Still not ready to talk? Ok dip him again.'

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

'You know too much,'

"Your hunch was right, Officer Garcia. We'll need a good editor to clean up this manuscript and bring his unfinished novel to a satisfying conclusion."

"Elementary, my dear Watson- the cartoonist did it."

"The Hound of the Baskervilles, Watson--I took him walkies!"

"First Lady Lettuce goes missing, then Colonel Crouton followed by Reginald Radish... Great Caesar's Ghost! Someone is making a salad!"

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

'Mysteries' section of bookshop reveals secret door.

'Listen up, Baskerville! This is MacDonald! Those hounds of yours are scaring the E-I-E-I-O out of my animals!'

Pony express. Pony express yourself. Pony express yourself so much he left.

"It's not the first time he'd been warned about wearing a long tie when leaning over the shredder."

Same Day Delivery: "I wish!"

When Engineers Crack.

Dog barking at everything except a burglar.

'If he could trace the matching sock I've another 25 or 30 to account for.'

'I'm sure that the autopsy will confirm it was a suicide.'

"Elementary, my dear Quackson."

"Where were you between 4 and 6?"

"You're either lying or not telling the truth."