Possessions Gifts

"Who says you can't take it with you? This one has a fireproof lining."

"I can't believe how great my life is now: We used to live in an apartment, but now, I have my own garden..."

"Same story every morning - 'Can you come and fix our windmill?'..."

"What's wrong with swallowing up other companies?"

Canned laughter for sale in Theatrical Supplies shop.

"I see you've security marked your property."

Sign: 'Welcome to Fernbanks. Beneath our quaint Norman Rockwell-ish exterior beats a big-box chain store heart, ready to sell out at the drop of a hat.'

"You called me, boss?" "Yes, I overheard you talking to patrons about all the new planets we’ve found." "I want you to stop doing that." "At least until I’m done buying up as much of that real estate as I can. I don’t need any competitors driving up the prices." "Very bad man." "When the hipsters run out of cities to gentrify here, my properties on Gliese 581c are going to make a killing."

"For my next trick, I'll need a volunteer, a fake knife, and a mirrored box with a secret compartment."

'I've misplaced everything.'

Reverse Mortgage.

Do you like to talk about Real Estate? Like to meet other men and women who do? Dial the... REAL-ESTATE HOTLINE

'For Sale by Neighbor'

"A little baking soda will get rid of the smell.

Mouse real estate!

"Someday, son, all this will be yours. It'll be under water, but still ..."

An exaggeration of estate agents

'Someday, son, 50 of this will belong to your ex-wife,'

'On the face of it, it sounds great that she left me her house, but it has gone stale and what Hansel and Gretel didn't eat the birds have had a go at.'

"This spectacular 40 room property has majestic views of the valley and village and it was tastefully renovated after the most recent Viking incursion."

'I need to tell Edgar...our house sold for a million two.'

"Someday, son, all this will be yours..."

'The owner would have shown you around himself, but he doesn't rise untill after sunset.'

'Miss Wilson, get on the web and find me everything on bottles!'

"Gentleman, come in! Come in! Let me take your company."

'It seems good, and he said the bit at the bottom is the name of the architect.'

"And the bathroom has a water view...if you fill the tub."

'Floodplain close - House on stilts with ladder. Estate Agent saying, 'Welcome onto the property ladder...''

UP Again: Housing Prices.

'I need three estimates before I appoint an estate agent.' - 'Right, £120,000, £130,000 and £140,000.'

"Like I told you Gladys: location, location, location."

For Sale By Owner

"Anything in Mr, Rogers' neighborhood?"

ACME, Inc. For the man who has everything. It's a home security company.

"This isn't a fixer upper. It's a down-and-outer."