Property Gifts

'For Sale by Neighbor'

"Lean, What Lean?"

"It's more than I can afford and less than I desire."

Almost sold.

'One day this will be someone else's.'

'It seems good, and he said the bit at the bottom is the name of the architect.'

"And the bathroom has a water view...if you fill the tub."

'Floodplain close - House on stilts with ladder. Estate Agent saying, 'Welcome onto the property ladder...''

'On the face of it, it sounds great that she left me her house, but it has gone stale and what Hansel and Gretel didn't eat the birds have had a go at.'

'Okay. But apart from the low ceilings, what did you think of the house?'

'Don't worry about your daughter Sir: I'll find us a dump to live in...'

"I told you he was a motivated seller.

'One day, son, none of this will be yours...'

'Take us to your real estate agent - We hear it's a great time to buy!'

'...how much is this brick?'

UP Again: Housing Prices.

For Sale By Owner

'The owner would have shown you around himself, but he doesn't rise untill after sunset.'

'What about you? Are you detached?'

Big egg timer 'Latest in time share properties.'

'I thought you'd be calling me sooner or later.'

'I told the neighbors we are planning to build a house next year, but they don't seem too happy about it.'

'I know it's late, but if you want to sell your house I have to show it when it's convenient to the buyers.'

It looks exactly like the photo!

'We're having a sale of 'for sale' signs.'

'I need three estimates before I appoint an estate agent.' - 'Right, £120,000, £130,000 and £140,000.'

Man reading paper - Paris Hilton section

'Sir...I have a couple here who claim to be first time buyers! What do I do?'

'I wish I'd listened to Sarah Beeny now.'

'There's a desperate need for new housing...'

Mortgage Collection - In / Arrears.

"This isn't a fixer upper. It's a down-and-outer."

"Million dollar view..."

"Anything in Mr, Rogers' neighborhood?"

"Like I told you Gladys: location, location, location."