Property Rights Gifts

Tenure under attack.

"I can't believe how great my life is now: We used to live in an apartment, but now, I have my own garden..."

Sign: 'Welcome to Fernbanks. Beneath our quaint Norman Rockwell-ish exterior beats a big-box chain store heart, ready to sell out at the drop of a hat.'

"You called me, boss?" "Yes, I overheard you talking to patrons about all the new planets we’ve found." "I want you to stop doing that." "At least until I’m done buying up as much of that real estate as I can. I don’t need any competitors driving up the prices." "Very bad man." "When the hipsters run out of cities to gentrify here, my properties on Gliese 581c are going to make a killing."

'Son, someday this will all be yours. Or Wal-Mart's. Whoever pays Daddy the most.'

"This is Mr. Harrington, our mortgage nerd."

'For Sale by Neighbor'

'I think this is deep enough for the foundations!'

"Hello, and welcome to 'Homes Under the Hammer. . .'"

An exaggeration of estate agents

"I'm a real estate developer and I'm just looking over this area."

Mouse real estate!

"Someday, son, all this will be yours. It'll be under water, but still ..."

"It's not so much a fixer upper as a tear it downer."

'It will cost more, but I suggest building from scratch instead of a gingerbread mix.'

A house being demolished in order to make way for a road widening scheme, with the occupants being evicted.

'On the face of it, it sounds great that she left me her house, but it has gone stale and what Hansel and Gretel didn't eat the birds have had a go at.'

'Now, it does require some modernisation. . . .'

The Speculators

"It's a great Fixer-Upper and this is Ken, single, available and a pretty decent handyman."

'The owner would have shown you around himself, but he doesn't rise untill after sunset.'

'5.40pm on the 2nd day....and still waiting for the surveyor'

"We're studying the legal principles of 'crossing a heart and hoping to die'."

'I need to tell Edgar...our house sold for a million two.'

'Hi, I'm on the make,'

"We'd like you to think of it not as a 'brick', but rather as an essential component of a potential self-build project."

"This spectacular 40 room property has majestic views of the valley and village and it was tastefully renovated after the most recent Viking incursion."

'It seems good, and he said the bit at the bottom is the name of the architect.'

Meanwhile back at the pond 'Wow... nice pad man!'

"And the bathroom has a water view...if you fill the tub."

Dominoes

'Floodplain close - House on stilts with ladder. Estate Agent saying, 'Welcome onto the property ladder...''

'Sir, there's a taxpayer who knows his rights, to see you.'

'We could either give you a $50,000 home improvement loan, or $2,000 to just blow your house up.'

'Here's a house that needs fixing up. Are you handy with money?'