Posh Food Enthusiast Gifts

Posh Deli - Fois gras, caviar, animal feed.

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"I chose to stand up to special interest groups!"

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

Party time.

"Tia Carmen's not happy unless she can send people away with a plate of leftovers for the road."

"What time did you say you wanted me to start drinking?"

"We've misjudged the tapas again."

You're the sizzle in my roast!

"I'll be glad when the television is fixed."

"How much?! Blimey, to get my money's worth, I'd need to use it EVERY WEEK!"

"Your meal sounded nice."

Dad's old fashioned barbeque

'I decided to start buying food in bulk. I hope you're hungry!'

Thermidor Dali

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

"The special is… pine nut encrusted… filet of salmon… in a balsamic wine reduction."

"My secret is having a ton of money to buy the best ingredients."

'What wine goes with enormous expense account?.'

'Are you sure these sprouts aren't GM?.'

'Pumpkin pie isn't dessert. It's another vegetable.'

Snacks for Learners

"He'd like the broiled monkfish, too, but first he's having a quick taste of the gutter."

As soon as he began speaking Manuel's Spanish accent was unmistakeable and he was evicted from the Local food group.

"And this is my oldest son I was telling you about. The one that eats like a horse."

"I bought you a cook book. Think of it as technical support."

'Oh, sure, it gets the creative juices going, but is it worth the cost?'

"Is anyone enjoying anything?"

'He refuses to overeat and get plump. Do you think he knows something we don't?'