Luxury Food Lover Gifts

Posh Deli - Fois gras, caviar, animal feed.

Gourmet Deli - Express Check-Out: $1000 or less.

Warning sign at a pop-up shop.

'Your French dip, sir.'

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

"You're the lid to my pot."

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

Heavy man sees 'Comfort Food' aisle

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"I chose to stand up to special interest groups!"

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

"We're odd looking but just as good."

'You're lucky there, Sir. That's the last one in the world.'

"It was wonderful, Henri. Arnold had died and gone to heaven."

'Excuse me - are you organic?'

'Pepperoni: Muse of Pizza'

Victorian Fast Food - 'I'll have the lark pie festooned with eels, a full stilton, two bottles of port,,,'

'I'm sorry, sir, but it's hats off for the Chef's Special!'

"Regular service or affected?"

"I think we'll pass up the Château Mouton-Rothschild '34."

'I'll give you a bite of my calamari for one of your stuffed shrimp.'

'I hope you all like stuffing.'

A man and baby wearing bibs

"Then again, an honest profile picture would not have got me a wonderful 'Duck Confit with a Chocolat Creme Brulee.'"

"There must be a place we can wait on line for an hour before eating."

"Mom said never use that dirty 4-letter word on vacation...DIET."

"You cheap shit! Why can't we have a designer divorce?"

"Hedge-fund managers have to have something over their sofas, too."

"That sister of yours sure has some nerve asking for those leftovers - we earned them."

"I only recommend the 24 oz. Prime rib for big fat guys."

'My wife's on a diet. So far she's lost her personality.'

'What wine goes with enormous expense account?.'