Foodie With A Taste For Luxury Gifts

'What wine goes with enormous expense account?.'

Domestic Goddess.

Always empty your fridge before starting a diet.

Ice Cream Dreams.

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

"Regular service or affected?"

"My secret is having a ton of money to buy the best ingredients."

"...And would sir care to kill the rabbit himself?"

'Therapy?'

"Smoked salmon, sir?" "I prefer to eat it, thanks."

"Waiter, can you find out if this hair in my arugula salad is locally harvested?"

Executive Tacos

'Red or white wine with fish?' 'They're dead. They don't care.'

'Have you noticed how portions are getting bigger?'

"Yes, you could have cooked it, but you didn't."

"If I'd wanted a Picasso I'd have gone to an art gallery, wouldn't I?"

"This is a self-service diner. I cook the meals and I eat them myself."

“Here’s to the 240 bucks we’re paying the sitter.”

'Your diet is so bad that your arteries are all blocked, but the angioplasty should open things up and get the maple syrup flowing again.'

this place got five stars for its fresh food

"What's upscale today, Joey?"

Noah Cappe - Host of Carnival Eats

Chicken A La King

Master Chef

"I'm watching my sugar intake."

'Resveratrol? Flavonoids? Phenolic compounds? Whatever happened to asking about the grape type and origin?'

This is a classic dish, that I've pulled apart, then reconstructed.

'Free meal.' 'Because you're the first customer to come back.'

"I wanted to eat like the French... so I am having a burger with bearnaise sauce."

"Dr. Graham, we would like s'more Children."

'Fortunately I know how to make a napoles salad but it'll cost you 14.95.'