Foodie With A Taste For Luxury T-Shirts

'What wine goes with enormous expense account?.'

Domestic Goddess.

Always empty your fridge before starting a diet.

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

Ice Cream Dreams.

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

"Regular service or affected?"

"...And would sir care to kill the rabbit himself?"

"My secret is having a ton of money to buy the best ingredients."

'Therapy?'

"Smoked salmon, sir?" "I prefer to eat it, thanks."

"Waiter, can you find out if this hair in my arugula salad is locally harvested?"

Executive Tacos

'Red or white wine with fish?' 'They're dead. They don't care.'

'Have you noticed how portions are getting bigger?'

"If I'd wanted a Picasso I'd have gone to an art gallery, wouldn't I?"

"This is a self-service diner. I cook the meals and I eat them myself."

"Yes, you could have cooked it, but you didn't."

“Here’s to the 240 bucks we’re paying the sitter.”

'Your diet is so bad that your arteries are all blocked, but the angioplasty should open things up and get the maple syrup flowing again.'

"What's upscale today, Joey?"

Noah Cappe - Host of Carnival Eats

this place got five stars for its fresh food

Master Chef

Chicken A La King

"I'm watching my sugar intake."

'Resveratrol? Flavonoids? Phenolic compounds? Whatever happened to asking about the grape type and origin?'

This is a classic dish, that I've pulled apart, then reconstructed.

Under new management

'Free meal.' 'Because you're the first customer to come back.'

"If I'm billing six hundred dollars an hour, lunch just cost me $ 638.75."

"I wanted to eat like the French... so I am having a burger with bearnaise sauce."