Posh Dining Appreciator Gifts

Restaurant Musician

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

"We have plenty of time to catch the ark."

"Expense account or regular?"

"We'd like the roasted homework for two. And fetch us a bottle of your finest toilet water."

"Regular service or affected?"

'I'm sorry, sir, but it's hats off for the Chef's Special!'

"I think we'll pass up the Château Mouton-Rothschild '34."

Wine taster with mineral water

"This wine tastes like a**....Bring me every bottle you have!"

"When you said, 'Let's go out for dinner,' I thought you meant foraging. This is much better!"

"I'll have the Mediterranean truffle sea bass, pan seared, and thrown into my mouth from across the room."

"We're out of flowers."

'Tartar sauce?! Heavens no. My dentist would kill me.'

-A burgandy from when the dow hit a record high.

'Tonight's menu is bound in Moroccan leather, with a touch of Flemish calligraphy on hand made paper.'

'It's beans OR toast, not beans ON toast.'

"Interested in some romantic punk rock during your dinner?"

"Is anyone enjoying anything?"

"Wow, you've got to try this combination."

"The Garlic Escargot Velouté...would you like that in the traditional tureen, or supersized in a bucket?"

"Let's make the bill easy and just split it."

"Oops, my bad … It is vinegar."

Drinks same as table decoration

"Will the gentleman want the saumon poché with or without his initials?"

"A bottle of your finest formula for the table."

"We have a Sauvignon Blanc to refresh your palate or a lick of this toad to obliterate your sense of self."

Survival of the Foodiest

"Could we have a doggy bag please?"

"Coffee, on the strong side."

'Is Sir quite sure he wouldn't prefer a glass?'